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News From The Wire.















Date Posted: 10:34 11/10/2003

A good piece of arable land spoiled

Few things annoy Running Dog more than golf.

IF THERE is one thing Running Dog cannot bear it is golf, and the sheer, badly-dressed mediocrity of it all. In fact, Running Dog once resigned from the Revolutionary Trotskyite Alliance upon discovering that our esteemed party secretary was a closet tee-fiddler. In our experience, golf is a bastion of miserable bourgeois fascism, and if we ever learnt that Messrs Hitler and Mussolini often had a chinwag on the rolling fairways of Dresden, we would feel utterly vindicated in our efforts to rid the world of this scourge.

Actually, if Running Dog had to choose between eradicating golf and eradicating world hunger, we would have to spend a lot of time considering our priorities.

But the choice is, as we know, false, because the elimination of millions of sprawling golf courses and their replacement with rural collectives would do a great deal to assist the starving of this world, even without mentioning the various fringe benefits that would arise. If all those newly empowered farmers decided to sacrifice the likes of Seve Ballisteros to the Fertility Gods, we would certainly have no objection.

As it is, Running Dog remembers hearing about thousands of peasants being thrown off the land on the outskirts of Guangzhou in order to make way for more courses, and imagines that this is an all-too-common occurrence.

When Running Dog first considered the issues relating to economic development in China, we began to worry about golf. Would the new reforms mean peace and prosperity for all, or would it create a new parasitical social class consisting of preened and pampered exhibitionists in riidiculous plus-fours repeating tedious Bob Hope gags about their handicaps? (It seems clear what the lay of the land is, judging by this report in The Daily Telegraph.)

Meanwhile, this article by Reuters, shamelessly (but typically) plagiarized by China Daily, has done nothing to allay our fears. We are told that the membership costs for certain clubs are almost 50 times the average local income.

We are also aghast to learn from China Daily that (a) there is something called the Shanghai International Golf Expo, and (b) that 50 new courses are to be constructed in Shanghai in the next three years. At least the Three Gorges migrants were moved on the pretext of economic development.

We have also been made aware that foreign businessmen are
coming on golf tours to China
to unwind after several fraught office months getting caught in their own braces and being rebuffed by the secretary.

In any case, anyone who wants to assist our campaign should spam the administrators of the China Golf website.

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