Date Posted: 11:24 06/03/2005
Not so cocky as you used to be, are you China?
Our guest columnist spots a new trend
By 'Ernest Hemingway'
THAT FAÇADE of strength and confidence the Chinese government has worked so hard to build over the years took a hit last week when China's General Administration of Press and Publication let slip that the country had developed a taste for self-help books.
What's wrong China? Not so sure of yourself?
But in all fairness, the world is not as warm and kind as it use to be. Terrorists are blowing stuff up. North Korea has nuclear weapons. Iran wants them. Oil prices have spiked and no one is interested in sharing anymore. I don't think any country in the world is as confident as it was a decade earlier. And Lord knows the Chinese aren't the only people reading self-help books. So, in the spirit of international community and in the name of Kofi Annan, I would like to recommend the following self-help titles.
1) How To Remove Your Own Brain Tumor, by I.M. Wyld
Although I suspect that that author's name is not the one his mother gave him, I am far less suspicious of the advice he gives. We don't need other people telling us what to do with our brain tumors. That's a sentence China can agree with.
2) Positive Magic: Occult Self-Help, By Marion Weinstein
Marion is one of the leading minds in the Modern Witchcraft movement. She is also the author of Earth Magic: A Book of Shadows for Positive Witches, and Positive Magic: A Book of Matches for Earth Witches. You wouldn't think it, but China is full of witches, and it's about time they were able to feel good about themselves too. A special shout-out to Shanghai.
3) Magneto Therapy: Self-Help Book, By H.L. Bansal and R.S. Bansal
Both the President and Vice-Presidents of India have already read this book, H.L. Bansal discloses in a special note to the reader. The book has in fact been so popular in India that the Hindi language version, titled 'CHUMBAK CHIKITSA,' has already undergone several reprints. China had better keep up. India already dominates the global software outsourcing industry. If China isn't careful, India might one day build a magnet large enough to rule the world.
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